Purpose has always been one of those buzzwords that can sound abstract and lofty. But let me tell you—purpose is not some far-off North Star. Nope, it's your 365-day operating system, deeply tied to your daily decisions and actions. You see, years ago, I embarked on a retreat that changed my life and led me to start coaching values and purpose. I even earned the nickname "the why coach" while working with the San Francisco 49ers.
It got to the point where I was more in love with this "side hustle" than my day job. What I found was that purpose doesn't serve you if it's just a North Star, something you glance at once in a while. Purpose has to be actionable. And that's why I've been paying the gift of purpose forward, teaching people how to close the confidence gap. Because let's get real—confidence is our secret weapon. My formula is simple: Confidence = Values x Action. Values define who you are; action is the consistent manifestation of those values. Show me a person who takes consistent action on their values, and I'll show you a confident person.
So, how do you live this out? I've got a journaling process that's guaranteed to help you put your values in action, leading you to become the most confident version of yourself. Stay with me, and let's dive into it.
Confidence = Values x Action
We've all heard it before: "Live your values." But let's be honest, how often do we actually pause to align our daily actions with the values we profess? Most of us have values listed on our LinkedIn profiles, or maybe even a mission statement hanging in the office. Yet, when life gets hectic, those values often get relegated to the background.
That's where Paul Epstein comes in. This guy isn't just talking about high-level concepts; he's got a simple formula to bridge the gap between what we say we value and what we actually do. Get ready to wrap your head around this: High-Level Confidence = Values x Actions. Yeah, it's as clear-cut as it sounds. But it's also a game-changer.
The Two-Minute Weekly Ritual
This isn't your typical journaling exercise. We're talking about a two-minute weekly commitment that you make to yourself. During this time, you lock in on a core value that means something to you, something you want to embody. How do you pick this value? Paul suggests three methods:
- Think of a word that deeply resonates with you.
- Ask the five people who know you best to describe you in one word. Pick what resonates.
- Google a list of common core values and choose one that leaps off the screen at you.
Once you've locked in your value, you jot down a simple sentence: "I will live my value of [blank] by [blank]."
Real-world Examples to Kickstart Your Journey
Let's bring this down to earth. Say you chose the value of "Joy." Your sentence might be, "I will live my value of Joy by cooking my favorite meal." Simple, right? But also deeply powerful.
Now, let's up the ante. Maybe you pick "Courage" as your value. Your sentence could then be, "I will live my value of Courage by having that challenging conversation I've been avoiding." You're not doing it because Paul or anyone else said so; you're doing it because you want to live a life aligned with your core values.
The Power of Consistency
Here's where it gets really interesting. Paul advises sticking with the same value and choosing a different action each week for about a month. So, if you're riding the Joy train, keep riding it but switch up the actions. The point is to take consistent swings at embodying your chosen value. By the time week four rolls around, you'll realize that Joy—or whatever value you picked—has seeped into the fabric of your daily life.
Why This Works: Science Meets Self
Research tells us that it takes three to four weeks to form a habit. That's not just anecdotal; it's neuroscience. So, if you're taking swings at the same value for a month, you're literally rewiring your brain to embody that value. It's like muscle memory, but for your soul.
Your Challenge, Should You Choose to Accept
So here's my call to action: Join me on this four-week experiment. Let's document our journeys and share the lessons, the highs, and yes, even the lows. Together, we can make living our values a part of who we are, not just something we say we'll do "someday."
