Reflect, Revise, Remix your life!
March 9, 2021

You're Really Not Allowed To Do This - The Permission Deficit

You're Really Not Allowed To Do This - The Permission Deficit

I want to talk about what I call “A permission deficit” – I wasted a lot of time in my life waiting for permission to get going. Permission to start my own business, permission to live the life I wanted to be living. I call this the curse of permission-orientation. 

I think that most people have a deep-down feeling that they need permission from some outside authority before they do the things they want to do with their lives. The people who are successful are able to bypass this and shed it somehow. It’s really not that difficult to do, but in order the counter the problem (just like many things), first you have to be aware that it exists. 

Most people listening to this grew up in a society where we needed to ask permission – in school, to go to the bathroom, or to leave the classroom. At home, to go outside, to get something to eat. As we grew up, and became adults, anything different or unusual wasn’t really acceptable unless we had permission from whichever authority ruled over that part of our lives. 

I believe that “need of permission” keeps people nailed down, making it harder and harder to break out of the box that we believe we’re supposed to be in . 

Everything you want is available to you. Everything you want is within your reach. You are not stuck, you don’t need any outside force to ALLOW YOU to go after your goals. 

I think to some degree we all feel that – and this is why mentors, coaches and a positive inspiring group of friends – and even listening to positive stuff like this – it’s all really helpful in getting people over that need to ask permission. The need to find permission. 

What I’m striving for is to find that internal authority. That voice inside me that can make a strong decision to DO OR DIE. The voice that I create, instead of waiting to hear it from someone else. That someone else is probably never going to come along. It’s much better to find it within yourself, than to wait. 

Waiting until you feel like you’re allowed can be damaging. 

1.    It causes you to procrastinate. Many times we will look for all the excuses we can to NOT CHANGE, because change is scary and uncomfortable. If you hear a voice that says “let’s wait until we’re allowed” to take this step or start your business, or move to another town – if you hear that voice it’s really easy to agree with it, and say – all of that sounds good, and I’m going to do it when the timing is right. But the timing is never right unless you make a decision, and then a plan, and then begin to carry it out. 

2.    It trains us to keep waiting instead of taking action. We grant our own permission to live our own lives, which means that part of you that is waiting for permission is most likely the same part of you that can give permission. If we keep training ourselves to wait for permission, we’re just prolonging that notion. The sooner we try to ignore it, the faster we will get out of the habit, and start doing whatever it takes to get whatever it is we want. 

3.    It limits your goals. The goals you have the ability to set for yourself, the intentions and things you want with your life – these are unlimited. You can be what you want and do whatever you want to do. But if you are permission-oriented, then you might be automatically self-disqualifying for any goals that “seem” too large. This could stop your from achieving your full potential. So if you say “ I want 5 million in the bank”, or ‘I’d like to own a huge apartment building” – that permission orientation will make you say, “yeah that’s not really possible, maybe I’ll write down “a nice savings account” and “a rental property” instead. This is dangerous to your potential. 
 
 Most people don’t aim too high and miss, they aim too low and hit. 



Transcript

Welcome to the Second Mix Podcast where we reflect, revise, and remix our lives. My name is Matthew Bennett

Nothing that I say in this show is new. I never want to claim these ideas as my own. I’m not manufacturing anything here. These ideas and concepts have been around for thousands of years. I’m repeating them – in my own way only to give it a fresh perspective, to spread these ideas using new words and possibly to reach people who haven’t given this much thought – or maybe the different take on it will reach someone in a new way. The topic of Personal Development has touched my life in so many ways – I do this to pay it forward and hopefully help someone come to some realization that will change their life for the better. 

I want to talk about what I call “A permission deficit” – I wasted a lot of time in my life waiting for permission to get going. Permission to start my own business, permission to live the life I wanted to be living. I call this the curse of permission-orientation.  

I think that most people have a deep-down feeling that they need permission from some outside authority before they do the things they want to do with their lives. The people who are successful are able to bypass this and shed it somehow. It’s really not that difficult to do, but in order the counter the problem (just like many things), first you have to be aware that it exists. 

Most people listening to this grew up in a society where we needed to ask permission – in school, to go to the bathroom, or to leave the classroom. At home, to go outside, to get something to eat. As we grew up, and became adults, anything different or unusual wasn’t really acceptable unless we had permission from whichever authority ruled over that part of our lives.  

I believe that “need of permission” keeps people nailed down, making it harder and harder to break out of the box that we believe we’re supposed to be in. 

Everything you want is available to you. Everything you want is within your reach. You are not stuck, you don’t need any outside force to ALLOW YOU to go after your goals. 

I think to some degree we all feel that – and this is why mentors, coaches and a positive inspiring group of friends – and even listening to positive stuff like this – it’s all really helpful in getting people over that need to ask permission. The need to find permission. 

 

What I’m striving for is to find that internal authority. That voice inside me that can make a strong decision to DO OR DIE. The voice that I create, instead of waiting to hear it from someone else. That someone else is probably never going to come along. It’s much better to find it within yourself, than to wait. 

Waiting until you feel like you’re allowed can be damaging. 

1.    It causes you to procrastinate. Many times we will look for all the excuses we can to NOT CHANGE, because change is scary and uncomfortable. If you hear a voice that says “let’s wait until we’re allowed” to take this step or start your business, or move to another town – if you hear that voice it’s really easy to agree with it, and say – all of that sounds good, and I’m going to do it when the timing is right. But the timing is never right unless you make a decision, and then a plan, and then begin to carry it out. 

2.    It trains us to keep waiting instead of taking action. We grant our own permission to live our own lives, which means that part of you that is waiting for permission is most likely the same part of you that can give permission. If we keep training ourselves to wait for permission, we’re just prolonging that notion. The sooner we try to ignore it, the faster we will get out of the habit, and start doing whatever it takes to get whatever it is we want. 

3.    It limits your goals. The goals you have the ability to set for yourself, the intentions and things you want with your life – these are unlimited. You can be what you want and do whatever you want to do. But if you are permission-oriented, then you might be automatically self-disqualifying for any goals that “seem” too large. This could stop your from achieving your full potential. So if you say “ I want 5 million in the bank”, or ‘I’d like to own a huge apartment building” – that permission orientation will make you say, “yeah that’s not really possible, maybe I’ll write down “a nice savings account” and “a rental property” instead. This is dangerous to your potential. 
 
 Most people don’t aim too high and miss, they aim too low and hit. 

4.    You don’t get to feel like you’re in charge of your life – and that is one of the greatest feelings ever.  

I initially meant to end this podcast by saying if you’re waiting for permission, and you’re waiting to hear from someone that its okay – then I want to give you permission. That was the plan – but I realized that all of that will propogate someone’s lack of giving themselves permission. Lacking that internal authority – I don’t want to encourage that lack of authority. I would tell someone to give themselves permission, and then just GO FOR IT. 

 

So if there’s something you want to do with your life, some big goal, why don’t you give yourself permission, right now, to go after it. You might fail, you might succeed. I’m gonna tell you it’s better to try, it’s better to strive, than to regret never having tried. 

I could fail at all I try, and I’m still going to be better off for having made an attempt at something better than eating pizza and watching TV – I am becoming more every day, and I’m doing it with my own permission.


Thanks for listening to the Second Mix Podcast – once again I am Matthew Bennett. I am going to do this podcast every Monday and Thursday, or I will die trying. I’d love to hear from you if you want to email matt@secondmix.net, and you can check out the blog – which is mostly the transcriptions of this podcast and some additional bonus materials – that’s at secondmix.net. If you like what you’re hearing, please give me five stars whenever and wherever you can I also love reading reviews. If you know someone who might find this information helpful or useful, please share it with them. I wish someone had shared some personal development info with me a few years earlier. Until Thursday, keep reflecting, revising, and remixing your life. Have an incredible week.